Make this Mother’s Day the best yet with these tips

If you close your eyes for a moment (after reading this sentence, that is) you may be able to conjure up fond memories of your mother – picking you up after a fall, cheering you on at a competition, giving you some timely life-changing advice. Sadly, it wouldn’t be uncommon for your mother to eventually lose all of those same memories to Alzheimer’s disease or dementia, if she hasn’t already.

According to recent studies, more than seven million Americans have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Nearly two-thirds of them are women.

Needless to say, holidays like Mother’s Day can be a challenging time for a mother living with Alzheimer’s–and for her children. She may feel a sense of loss because of the changes she is experiencing as a result of the disease. Beloved traditions may have to be adjusted to accommodate new realities and capabilities. And at the same time, many adult children and caregivers may not be certain how to celebrate a day that no longer holds the same meaning for the honoree.

Yet, regardless of your mom’s particular circumstances, Mother’s Day can remain a meaningful and enjoyable occasion for you and your family. Planning will take more thought, and each family’s unique circumstances will need to be taken into consideration. But chances are, Mom will enjoy spending time with you or anyone who appreciates and pays attention to her.

Here are some tips from the Alzheimer’s Association that can ensure a Mother’s Day celebration you both will enjoy:

Have a Memorable Mother’s Day Brunch

You may have used to take Mom out on Mother’s Day to give her a day off from cooking. That tradition may no longer give her the same relief if she lives in a Sunshine Retirement Living memory care community and has chef-prepared meals made for her each day! But a delicious meal at a restaurant can still be a great way to celebrate. If you do decide to go out, make sure she is comfortable with crowds and does well in a different setting than what she’s used to. If she’s agreeable to the idea, consider ordering for her, because she may be more comfortable having someone else peruse an extensive menu and choose her favorites.

Either way, people with Alzheimer’s and dementia do best when following a schedule. So eat at Mom’s usual time, before she gets too hungry, and preferably in familiar surroundings. Sticking to her normal routine will help keep the day from becoming disrupted or confusing. And don’t overdo it. If necessary, plan time for breaks so she can rest in a quiet area away from noise and crowds.

If going out doesn’t seem like a good idea, our Sunshine Retirement Communities will be serving special Mother’s Day brunches that you’re both sure to enjoy. Or, choose a meal from her favorite restaurant and bring the meal to her! Just don’t be afraid to reminisce about favorite foods and the memories you share surrounding special meals. And while you’re at the community, why not join in one of our group activities?

Give Gifts that Encourages Engagement

Your mom may not expect gifts for Mother’s Day any more, but they are always a welcome gesture. Especially those that stimulate the senses, such as flowers, a soft blanket, scented lotions, or a photo of the two of you together. Photo albums, ID bracelets and comfortable clothes also make nice gifts. But often, the best gift of all could be a playlist of her favorite music that she can easily play. Music has more power to stimulate positive memories than anything else. Plus, it encourages movement and dancing.

Reminisce about Good Times from the Past

Having a conversation with someone dealing with Alzheimer’s or dementia can sometimes be difficult, which often presents a challenge on how to create a special moment. If your mother still has her long-term memory intact, as many people with dementia do, reminiscing about a past you share is a good way to connect. Consider looking at a photo album of a past trip you’ve taken together or some childhood events. Enter her world and share her reality.

If she talks about random things from the past – Elvis Presley, her brother or childhood dog, Queen Elizabeth – go along for the ride and see where the conversation goes. If she doesn’t recognize who you are, but has memories of a son or daughter, invite her to share them without explaining who you are. But if conversations aren’t working out, it’s perfectly okay to simply find an activity you can do together successfully and enjoy the moment. Go for a walk. Do some gardening or a jigsaw puzzle together. Read a story or listen to music.

Celebrate the Relationship You Have Now

While watching someone you’ve loved all your life change dramatically, and for your relationship to change as well, can be uncomfortable, try to acknowledge that the person who does exist is still a lovable human who needs compassion. Recognize that you still have a relationship with your mother in whatever form it may be. Nurture it and treasure every moment.

For more information and support, call the Alzheimer’s Association’s 24/7 Helpline at 800.272.3900. A trained social worker will be happy to answer your questions or concerns. You can also learn more about Alzheimer’s in the Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregiver Center.

For more tips on supporting a family member with Alzheimer’s, join the ALZConnected online community, and find more information about your local Alzheimer’s Association chapter services and programs.

*This blog was first published here: Sunshine Retirement Living, May, 2019. Some content was provided by prnewswire.com, yourhub.denverpost.com and seniorplanningservices.com.